About two weeks ago, I called myself out. I realized I’d been living scared and mapped out a plan to get past it.

I set a deadline for yesterday at 2:00pm, and I told people I’d pay them to hold me accountable. 16 people took me up on the offer, and I just sent out $160 in payments. It doesn’t feel good to miss a deadline, no matter the story.

In case you’re wondering, here’s what happened:

I got about 50% done between the 12th (when I posted the goal) and the 15th (Sunday night).  Then my other commitments took over. Financial statements were due, so I pretty much worked on those 12-16 hours a day til Thursday, when I hit the road for Houston.

I drove up Thursday night, spent the day touring MD Anderson and listening to project proposals on behalf of TBW, and then drove up to my grandmother’s house near Cedar Creek Lake on Friday evening.

Saturday morning, I remembered that I’d forgotten my Mifi at home in Corpus Christi. I called AT&T to see about making my phone a hot spot, scoped out any nearby wifi, and realized that I’d need to drive to Dallas to get a good connection.

In that moment, I decided to miss my deadline and focus on spending the weekend with my family. I don’t regret that choice in the least. In fact, it may need to be a decision I need to repeat more often.

This morning, I woke up with a sense of urgency and reserve of energy that pulled me out of bed before my alarm went off. I’d been debating between a few different options, and I now know exactly what I have to do.

If I’m being completely transparent, I still feel a little terrified.

I’m about to unveil a product that represents the sum total of who I am and what I believe.

The system is working. Knowing that each day of indecision and tweaking is costing me $80 has created just enough pain to keep me focused.

My new deadline is this Thursday at 1:59pm (just shy of three days), and I absolutely plan to meet it. I’m already planning how to carve out hours here and there to make it happen. I’m recording voice memos while I drive, and scribbling notes wherever I am.

And I’m excited as heck. I think I’ve figured out how to manufacture urgency within myself. Previously, I’d hit goals determined by other people at nearly 100% and always put off the ones I wanted. I never was able to overcome the fatigue and inherent fear of doing something new.

So, to the 16 people that took 10 seconds and filled out my simple form: Thank you.

Your tiny act is giving me just enough support to keep moving forward.

On Thursday, I hope to make you proud. Enjoy your $10 on a treat for yourself. You earned every bit of it.