About two weeks ago, I called myself out. I realized I’d been living scared and mapped out a plan to get past it.
I set a deadline for yesterday at 2:00pm, and I told people I’d pay them to hold me accountable. 16 people took me up on the offer, and I just sent out $160 in payments. It doesn’t feel good to miss a deadline, no matter the story.
In case you’re wondering, here’s what happened:
I got about 50% done between the 12th (when I posted the goal) and the 15th (Sunday night). Then my other commitments took over. Financial statements were due, so I pretty much worked on those 12-16 hours a day til Thursday, when I hit the road for Houston.
I drove up Thursday night, spent the day touring MD Anderson and listening to project proposals on behalf of TBW, and then drove up to my grandmother’s house near Cedar Creek Lake on Friday evening.
Saturday morning, I remembered that I’d forgotten my Mifi at home in Corpus Christi. I called AT&T to see about making my phone a hot spot, scoped out any nearby wifi, and realized that I’d need to drive to Dallas to get a good connection.
In that moment, I decided to miss my deadline and focus on spending the weekend with my family. I don’t regret that choice in the least. In fact, it may need to be a decision I need to repeat more often.
This morning, I woke up with a sense of urgency and reserve of energy that pulled me out of bed before my alarm went off. I’d been debating between a few different options, and I now know exactly what I have to do.
If I’m being completely transparent, I still feel a little terrified.
I’m about to unveil a product that represents the sum total of who I am and what I believe.
The system is working. Knowing that each day of indecision and tweaking is costing me $80 has created just enough pain to keep me focused.
My new deadline is this Thursday at 1:59pm (just shy of three days), and I absolutely plan to meet it. I’m already planning how to carve out hours here and there to make it happen. I’m recording voice memos while I drive, and scribbling notes wherever I am.
And I’m excited as heck. I think I’ve figured out how to manufacture urgency within myself. Previously, I’d hit goals determined by other people at nearly 100% and always put off the ones I wanted. I never was able to overcome the fatigue and inherent fear of doing something new.
So, to the 16 people that took 10 seconds and filled out my simple form: Thank you.
Your tiny act is giving me just enough support to keep moving forward.
On Thursday, I hope to make you proud. Enjoy your $10 on a treat for yourself. You earned every bit of it.
I am routing for you Kendra! You can do it. You are inspiring me to make a plan, set a goal and finish a project!!!
Regards,
Barbara
Kendra. I have a heartfelt love for the very core of who you are. Your transparency in living your life in the open is refreshing.
Thanks for being willing to grow into who you are!
So cool to see your journey in progress!
Awesome post. I have to admit when the 10 bucks came I immediately said crap! I was routing for you. I knew you’d hit the first deadline and now I’m still routing even more. Thankful to see in the midst of the deadline, you chose the most important though. Lesson to me. So now I’m saying a prayer for your next 3 days. GO KENDRA!!!
I’m surprised you missed a deadline but know you will get back on track. I admire your composure and honesty. I’m in your court.
I, too, was surprised to see the money. But I want you to know I’ve donated the money to the Make-A-Wish Foundation via our wish child that’s visiting Corpus Christi from Kansas City. I truly admire your courage!
I love to wacth your progress, and success! It is very inspiring to me. At the end of the day, learning about one’s self is sometimes the hardest thing to do…you are facing the challenge and winning. Good job!
I had complete faith in you Kendra so when the email showed up it took me a minute or two to figure out that this was not another one of those “YOU won an IPad !” emails ! Stage two consisted of grieving and stressing. I grieved for you and worried about how I could return the money to you (and how fast I could return it). I continued to give it some thought and decided that although painful,I would have to keep the money LOL! I decided that I could however , pay it forward . The ten dollars you mailed to me will be used to bless another. I’ve decided to use it to purchase a Christian CD for a friend. That ten dollars stretched out and bought some priceless moments for us all . What a neat story I have to tell….Thanks and good luck ! I still have complete faith in you !!