Sometimes I write in response to a question I’ve been asked. Sometimes I write to explore an idea. And sometimes I write what I need to read. Today would be the latter.

If you’ve read any of my recent monthly reports or listened to the last few podcasts, you know I’m really struggling with food. The old habits that took me to over 200 lbs. are roaring back. The difference is that I see it coming now; it’s no longer hidden. Although I haven’t had the courage to officially get back on the scale, I know I’m carrying an extra 10-15 lbs. over where I’ve maintained for the last few years.

I also know it’s the stress. Several of my projects are peaking in intensity at the same time. I’ve subtracted all that I can, and my days are still full from 5am to 9pm. So I’ve decided that I need to learn to make better decisions under these conditions. If you can relate, perhaps this will be useful for you too.

Step 1: Define success.

Over years of research and experimenting, I know my body thrives when I eat paleo. My goal is to eat strict paleo 6 days per week, meaning no grains, dairy, potatoes, or corn. On the 7th day (usually Saturday), I can give on anything but the grains. I simply can’t eat wheat flour in any form. It makes me sluggish and sick for several days afterwards.

By eating this way, I’ll feel healthy and energized. I’ll sleep better. My joints won’t ache, and I won’t have headaches. And I’ll easily maintain a healthy weight.

Step 2: Identify the obstacles or challenges.

My primary nemesis has a name: Decision Fatigue. I talked about him on the last podcast. He causes me to make very poor decisions when my brain is tired. (I quickly default to nachos.) This happens at the end of the day or during an intense project. It’s become worse since I quit drinking Monster Rehab. That at least provided some glucose and probably had some appetite suppressants in it as well, but I’m still pleased with that decision.

Also, I struggle with wanting to fit in, and sharing meals is a way to do that. Deep down, I know I can’t be normal. (And you can’t be either.) But that’s hard to fight three times a day. Sometimes I give in and go with the flow.

And, eating is one of my major forms of entertainment or relaxation. I’ve linked winding down for the day with going out for a meal. Sometimes, I don’t know what else to do. I don’t drink alcohol or coffee. I don’t shop. I don’t watch network television, and movie theaters are overwhelming. I’m too tired to read, and I want to get out of anything that feels like an office. But I’m an introvert, so crowds are daunting. I also go to bed early. Restaurants have become my default option, and they don’t lend themselves to eating paleo.

Yikes. I can’t believe I actually wrote all that down. I think I feel better already. (But I’d better hit post in the next few minutes before I chicken out.) Now, I’ve at least been honest with myself about why I struggle. It’s much deeper than the food.

Step 3: Implement strategies to overcome them.

If one of you could open a restaurant in Corpus Christi that feels like a coffee shop but serves paleo food, that would do the trick!

Short of that, I’ll need to address this on two fronts: 1) reduce the number of food decisions I make when I’m tired and 2) find another way to unwind.

For the first strategy, I need to simplify and pre-decide. For breakfast, I’m having my green juice. For lunch, I’ll have a MyFit or a salad/lettuce wrap (if I need to eat out). For dinner, I still need a plan that works for my family as well. When we stay home, I tend to stay on track. But we’re all busy, so we’re eating out a lot. And, they don’t want to eat paleo, so I’m frequently staring across the table at foods I know I shouldn’t eat.

By the end of the month, I’m going to make a list of all the restaurants we frequent and the paleo meal options they offer. Then when we go out, I’ll develop a habit of checking my list to see what I’ve already decided I’ll order. I won’t have to decide when I’m tired, so my brain will be happy with that.

The second area is a bit trickier, but I think I can make progress with a similar strategy. I can make a list of alternate ways to unwind that fit within my values and preferences. I can already think of a few: watching inspiring Netflix documentaries, walking outside with our dog, jogging on the bayfront, or reading fiction. For some categories, I could even go ahead and fill the queue with interesting documentaries and actual books.

Just making these lists is a tiny step, but I’m betting that each tiny positive choice will snowball, and I’ll eventually have my momentum back.

What do you think? Is this enough?

Have you ever tackled these challenges? What worked for you?

——

Photo: the infamous Brisket Nachos at Beaches, in Port Aransas, Texas

In this episode of The Habit Chef Podcast, we’ll learn how decision fatigue is like human kryptonite and how we can use habits to overcome it.

Click here to play the podcast in a new window.

Listen in, and you’ll learn:

• How we sabotage ourselves without even knowing it
• Why decision fatigue causes us to procrastinate and make poor decisions
• How habits preserve mental energy by allowing us to take action automatically
• How we can setup simple habits to help us make better decisions

Resources from this Episode

• Habit Profiles: Charlie Gilkey and Rebecca Ryan
• Do You Suffer from Decision Fatigue?, NY Times
• How Barack Obama Gets Things Done, 99U
• Steve Jobs Always Dressed the Same, Forbes

Announcements

Join the Tribe for a special email this week.

Share your ideas from combating decision fatigue in the comments.

Join us for #habitchat on Twitter every Wednesday at Noon CST. (That’s 1pm EST, and 10am PST.) Curious how it works? I explain it all here.

Subscription Options

If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe on your favorite platform so you’ll never miss an episode.

Click here to subscribe in iTunes.

You can also add us a Favorite on Stitcher.

Your Feedback

Do you have a suggestion or an idea for a show? Please email me at kk [at] habitchef [dot] com. I’d love to hear from you!

Want an easy way to share this with your friends? Click here to tweet your support.

Also, if you’re enjoying the show, please consider rating it in iTunes and leaving a short written review. Those are incredibly important for helping others discover it when they search.

Recently, we connected to discuss the power of rituals. I immediately knew I needed to profile Sean to share the carefully crafted rituals he’s developed to provide an abundant reservoir of positive energy that allows him to wholeheartedly serve his family, his clients, and his community.

Sean, thanks so much for sharing with us today. Let’s begin with the most important question. How do you define success?

Success is being authentically me and contributing that me to myself and others in any and every way that serves me and serves others for a greater good. It’s as simple as enjoying life and giving back to it.

Was there a time when you had a different definition? 

I used to believe that success meant fame, fortune, status, and achieving. What changed that? It was freaking tiring! I found myself trying to reach a higher and higher level without it even being aligned with who I was. I was 50 lbs overweight, broke financially, sometimes tragically emotionally, spiritually bankrupt, had terrible relationships with people I really did care about and who cared about me. I realized that my former definition of success was not leaving me fulfilled in so many ways though I did achieve. I got to a point where I knew EVERYTHING had to change.

Now that things have obviously changed, can you describe a typical day in your life?

A typical day begins with opening up my eyes. I have a morning process or ritual that I follow for about an hour or two. I take my daughter to school, return home to review my day, follow up on previous day messages, plan and take action before my first scheduled meeting. Meetings consist of either client sessions, community involvement meetings, or other business projects. There is a lot of energy through out the day, and I take many opportunities to engage in inspiration with friends, family, or colleagues.  I pick up my daughter and the evening varies, but most of the time I spend working on the planned project of the day. I eat too, but I keep food super simple and healthy most of the times with tons of water or alkaline drinks. My days typically run from about 5 am to midnight or 8 am to 3 am. My days are so varied, yet they are all designed for maximum impact on myself and those I’ll be with that day.

Do you have any particular habits or systems that you feel are essential to your success?

My morning ritual is the most important and powerful ritual of my day. I can use it at other times of the day of course but it is very routine.

I spring out of bed and review my written board with all of my passions, goals, things I love, things I won’t stand for, and things that I’m passionate about. I review my values, my personal Code of Conduct, things that I’ve written that make me smile. I review this all while breathing deeply and smiling, taking it all in and reminding myself that these are the things I’ve made my life about. I cover this process with my coaching clients. It’s like a vision board but written.

After putting on my shoes and clothes, I grab some music and headphones. The playlist is crafted over 2 years to move me through different motions and thoughts. It begins with walking and breathing to a certain scientific rhythm for several minutes to clear the mind and lymphasize the body, clear it of toxins. I begin on an outward proclamation of gratitude for several minutes about anything and everything that I am grateful for.

Then I move on to the vision of my future and giving thanks out loud for everything that I want, need, or desire, as if I already have it. Then I spend a few minutes saying incantations even louder and wiring into my nervous system the things that I believe or want to believe . This is where things like “I AM” statements are used among other precisely crafted phrases and vocabulary to evoke energy, passion, and grounding. This all takes place in about the first 15 minutes of waking up.

When that is done, I’m ready to run, the music changes to a shuffle of songs that I’ve picked really move me to emotion. Whether that is laughing, smiling, and singing or another depth of emotional/spiritual connection. It could go from Black Eyed Peas and U2 and then Amazing Grace for example. The purpose here is to move the body, mind, spirit and emotions, be completely aware of what surfaces, enjoy it, engage it, make a mental note of it and keep running. I run for about 30 minutes at my target heart rate. Then that is done and I finish the run with a visualization exercise about the day coming and harnessing my energy.

As I get home, I go to my computer screen where I play a digital vision board video with music set to it an other recordings of myself reminding me of my purpose and vision in life.  I’ll view this while jumping on a rebounder, clapping, and singing. I then center myself with some Tai Chi and breathing. Finally I sit down and either write in a journal, make a few notes, or send a few positive messages to people.  While this all sounds like a lot, only about an hour has passed and depending on how much more time I have free or what my focus is, I stay in that mode and compound all that energy and focus.  Then I shower.

Wow. That sounds like so much. It’s almost overwhelming to even think about. I think the only frame of reference that I even have for this would be the “Jessica’s Daily Affirmation” video that went viral a few years ago. Is there anything you can show us to help us understand more of what this looks like?

Absolutely. I made a video just for this profile, and I setup a special page on my website for any readers that want to learn more about morning rituals. (You can also click here if you can’t see the video.)

Tell me that someone wouldn’t be completely energized, inspired, and on purpose after a morning like that. I am certain that this ritual contributes to my success. Can I be successful without all that? Yes, but believe me, making time for that level of engagement in life is necessary and others feel it.

Thanks so much for taking the time to put that together. As we close, are there any habits you’re working to develop next?

I always think that there is a better way to improve what I’m currently doing. I think if I could integrate a few more things and use a computer like Iron Man has in the movies, I’d be able to get a ton more things done in the morning.

——

Sean D. Olivares is a Transformational Coach, Poet, Business Consultant, and Servant Leader.  He has learned first-hand from the world’s foremost experts on psychology, physiology, productivity, persuasion, leadership, love, and language. Through years of training, conversations, and friendships with experts in the fields of personal development, social change, and leadership, Sean has integrated and distilled lessons of mastery to share with his family, friends, clients, and his community.

For many years, I operated under the illusion that I could make decisions based on how I felt and was simultaneously frustrated that I wasn’t getting the results I was looking for. I never realized the two were connected.

Cue the virtual 2×4 across my forehead.

Let’s break this down.

First, we have to acknowledge that we usually think like this:

Motivation –> Action

We wait to take action until we feel motivated, and we rely on those feelings to feed our willpower.

It’s why we feel like working out after an inspiring movie or eat well for a few meals after visiting with a friend that’s lost weight recently.

Then what? We fail at continuing to take action. The feeling doesn’t last.

In his book, The 1% Solution, Tom Connellan proposes that, “the more you get done, the more motivated you are to do things. So you do more things, and you get even more motivated. It’s a self-feeding cycle.”

In other words:

Action –> Motivation –> Action

Intuitively, most of us know that motivation starts with action.

After a workout, we experience the “high” of an endorphin rush. We make plans for the next one.

After a healthy meal, we feel great – satisfied and refueled. We may even talk about doing the same thing tomorrow.

But knowing this usually isn’t enough. It wasn’t for me, and I’m guessing it doesn’t work for you either. Eventually, there’s an interruption in the actions, and we’re not able to continue the cycle.

Then I realized there was a hidden layer.

Habit –> Action –> Motivation –> Action

We know that motivation is fleeting, and forced actions aren’t effective for very long. Habits are different, though. They have tremendously more influence and predictability.

They’re like the recipe for your Nana’s delicious strawberry cake. They can be systematically developed and produce a consistent result time after time.

Here’s the best part: your brain already knows the recipe. You just have to select the ingredients and start cooking.

Ready to become the master chef of your own habit recipe?

Join the Tribe.

You’ll get instant access to my ebook Secret Recipe: The Surprising Way You Can Use Habits to Accomplish Anything, lots of habit-building resources, and an extra-special dispatch every Wednesday. Plus, you’ll connect with a community of folks crafting their own recipes. Together, we’ll become the masterpieces we were designed to be.

It’s free, and super easy. Just click here to enter your name and email address.

I’ll see you there.

—

photo credit: opensourceway

In this episode of The Habit Chef Podcast, we’ll talk through the importance of doing what you want to be, and the three simple ways to get started today.

Click here to play the podcast in a new window.

Listen in, and you’ll learn:

• How you can be anything just by doing the actions
• How knowing your why helps you reclaim your urgency
• Why you shouldn’t buy things to support a new goal
• How just trying to take a small step makes a big difference

Resources from this Episode

• To Be, Just Do
• Start with a Penny

Join our Group on Lift

Get started with just one click. (Well, two.) Click here to go to our group page on Lift. Then click the button that says “Join Group.”

This group of habits was selected to be the foundation of a healthy 20-mile-march, including basics for personal health and productivity.

Personal Health:

• Rolling (also called myofascial release, more info)
• Flossing
• Bible/Prayer/Meditation

Productivity:

• Set priorities for your day
• Work on Secret Project (this can be whatever your main focus is)
• Reading (this can be any type of learning)

Depending our your goals, you can add additional habits to complete your Daily March. For some ideas on which other habits to choose, you can browse the habit profiles to see what other successful people are doing.

Announcements

Join us for #habitchat on Twitter every Wednesday at Noon CST. (That’s 1pm EST, and 10am PST.)

Subscription Options

If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe on your favorite platform so you’ll never miss an episode.

Click here to subscribe in iTunes.

You can also add us a Favorite on Stitcher.

Your Feedback

Do you have a suggestion or an idea for a show? Please email me at kk [at] habitchef [dot] com. I’d love to hear from you!

Want an easy way to share this with your friends? Click here to tweet your support.

Also, if you’re enjoying the show, please consider rating it in iTunes and leaving a short written review. Those are incredibly important for helping others discover it when they search.

As modern women, we often feel the need to invent new strategies for dealing with life’s struggles and setbacks. This Mother’s Day, I want to share the surprising story of the matriarch of our family, my Nana. (June Petty, to the rest of the world.) I’d heard hints of these stories all of my life, but only recently did we sit down to really explore them.

As I learn more, I’m stunned by her courage, tenacity, and resilience, and I think you will be too.

Uncommon Courage

In 1942, while in college in Commerce, Texas, her sister Hazel Parsons (who was 16 years older) had a nervous breakdown. On her own, Nana decided to go to the Oklahoma Tax Commission and talk to the Director. He agreed that she could work in her sister’s place, preserving her job. “I never felt inferior. My Dad always told me how smart I was, and there wasn’t anything I didn’t think I could do,” she says.

Hazel was in hospital a while, so Nana worked there for about a year. Eventually, Hazel was able to come back to work and went on to have a very successful career. When Hazel retired, she was the highest paid civilian on Tinker Air Force Base, serving the base commander as a statistical analyst.

Unconventional Work

With that experience, Nana decided that she was as able to work as anyone else. Instead of returning to college, she got a job with Ma Bell in Oklahoma City. After working there about six months, she transferred to Dallas. She was soon promoted to the position of Commercial Observer – essentially quality control for customer service. In addition, they filled in for vacationing agents in offices across the state. This meant Nana would fly to all of the major cities in the Texas and work for one to two weeks at a time. She’d rarely see other businesswomen on the plane.

Nana married Papa (C.L. Petty) in 1944 and took a break from work to have my uncle Jeff and my mom, Cassy. When they were younger, she went back to work to help meet the family’s needs. By now, she had transferred to Commercial Sales, coordinating radio and television loops and rates. Still wanting to be there when her children got home, she requested to be able to leave work at 3pm each day. She remembers lots of teasing comments from her co-workers, but her supervisors easily agreed. When I asked if that was ever an issue with her boss, Nana thought for a moment and said “Well, no, it was the only way I would have worked there.”

Steady Resilience

In 1959, she found a lump. It was breast cancer. Her doctor in Greenville told her to “Go home and get your affairs in order. If you have a radical surgery, you might live a year.” “Shall we schedule you for next week?,” he asked. With Hazel squeezing her shoulders, Nana firmly replied, “No, we shall not.”

Confident that another doctor would be found, they called everyone they knew to gather information. Weeks passed. One doctor in Dallas was highly recommended. And Aunt Jack in Oklahoma City had an friend that was an anesthesiologist that knew of another very special doctor. Nana’s mother, Mimi, made choice for Nana to go to Oklahoma City where Hazel and Aunt Jack could support her. Mimi moved in with Papa to take care of the kids.

During her first interview, Dr. Austin Bell reassured her. “If you place yourself in my hands, with the help of God, everything is going to be all right.” He asked if she already had children, telling her that her ovaries would need to be removed as well (in a decision that would prove to be decades ahead of its time).

When she woke up after a radical mastectomy, her skin was so thin she could see her lung. Dr. Bell walked in the recovery room just as she tried to comb her hair with her left hand and commented, “I knew redheads were tough, but redheads from Texas have to be the toughest.”

An intern asked whether she would need radiation. Dr. Bell replied, “No, I got it all.” On Christmas Day 1959, the report came in. Dr. Bell visited her in person to tell her that she was cancer free. After being in the hospital two weeks, Nana went to Hazel’s to recover for a few months. Because of the extent of her surgery, Nana had to learn to use right arm all over again. She would walk her fingers up the wall to increase their mobility.

Less than a year later, Dr. Bell developed arthritis and could no longer operate. He went on to establish innovative hospitals in India. (If anyone knows of a way to find more information on Dr. Austin Bell, I’d love your assistance in learning more about this incredible man.)

—–

Today, Nana is a healthy, active 86 year old, serving on the team that prepares brunch every Sunday for her church. She’s also on the leadership team for their community food pantry and helps prepare backpacks for schoolchildren to take home over the weekend. I’m tremendously grateful for her unending love and leadership. Our family is truly blessed.

There are lots of things I want to be.

Healthy.
A writer.
A coach.
A good mom.
A traveler.
More faithful.
More consistent.

Maybe you have a list too.

When I talk about them, “someday” usually precedes the sentence. Maybe you do that too.

Recently, it occurred to me that we can “be” any of those things as soon as we start “doing” the actions.

I am healthy when I make good food choices and take time to move my body.
I am a writer when I write each day.
I am a coach when I add value to someone else’s life.
I am a good mom when I am intentional about my relationship with my daughter.
I am a traveler when I see with new eyes and choose adventure.
I am more faithful when I choose to worship instead of worry.
I am more consistent when I move my project one tiny step forward each day.

And, “someday” will never come if we don’t begin with taking action.

I am not going to wake up healthy one morning.

I am not going to have a ghostwriter put my name on a best-selling book.

You get the idea.

To be, just do.

—

photo credit: Zervas

Click here to play the podcast in a new window.

Listen in, and you’ll learn:

• Why proving your identity is more important than results, especially at first
• How to use this approach to start your habit snowball
• How to work backwards to select your tiny habits
• Why it’s important to recognize propaganda and choose your identity instead of automatically following the default option

Resources from this Episode

• Identity-Based Habits: How To Actually Stick to Your Goals This Year by James Clear
• 5 Ways to Make New Habits Stick (Episode 4)
• How to Use Rituals to Overcome Procrastination (Episode 11)
• The Amazing Power of I Don’t (rather than I can’t) by Heidi Halvorson
• Lift App
• Join the Habit Tribe

Announcements

Join us for #habitchat on Twitter every Wednesday at Noon CST. (That’s 1pm EST, and 10am PST.)

Subscription Options

If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe on your favorite platform so you’ll never miss an episode.

Click here to subscribe in iTunes.

You can also add us a Favorite on Stitcher.

Your Feedback

Do you have a question or an idea for a show? Please email me at kk [at] habitchef [dot] com. I’d love to hear from you!

Want an easy way to share this with your friends? Click here to tweet your support.

Also, if you’re enjoying the show, please consider rating it in iTunes and leaving a short written review. Those are incredibly important for helping others discover it when they search.

Her firm’s bio describes her as a human sparkplug – one part economist, one part futurist, and one part humorist. I can’t think of a better way to describe Rebecca Ryan.

After hearing her speak over two years ago, I knew I’d met a true thought leader and made sure to follow her work. (It didn’t hurt that she’d also been a pro basketball player.) Recently, her Kickstarter project to finish funding her second book raised 170% of it’s goal. She calls it an “open letter about America, its future, and how we can make it work better for more people.” With that, I knew I had to profile Rebecca to show you exactly how she works to change our world. I think you’ll enjoy the raw honesty about her journey and the detailed systems she uses to keep herself on track.

Rebecca, thanks so much for sharing with us today. To start us off, how do you define success?

My purpose is to leave the world a better place for future generations. My success will be determined by my great grandchildren and theirs. If their life is better, I hope I had a little to do with that. (Disclosure: I don’t have kids, so when I say “great grandchildren,” I’m talking universally.)

Was there a time when you had a different definition? What changed that?

I have had a lot of definitions!

Many of them were tied to my own financial success. At one point, I had “Half Mill Hill” written on a post it on my bathroom mirror, meaning that success was earning a half million dollars a year, and that post it was a reminder that I was climbing “Half Mill Hill!”

I’ve been all over the place with defining success.

I arrived at the purpose statement I just mentioned when I was struggling during the recession. Our company was struggling financially. I had to lay off my partner and my sister in law…and others! And I was suffering mentally; I was depressed. I felt like an idiot for not seeing the recession coming. And the worst part was having time on my hands and realizing that what I’d been doing was not what I wanted to do. We had been successful in financial terms before the recession, but even then, it left me feeling a bit hollow.

There was a point where I was laying in an empty bathtub. I took a lot of baths during the recession. And I just laid there after all the water drained out and cried. And cried. I felt useless. But then I started journaling, really writing from my gut, and I realized that I needed to commit myself to the next generation, to work for their well-being.

That was the turning point.

Can you describe a typical day in your life?

Sure!

Weekdays, I am an early riser. I am usually up around 4 am. I make my first-and-only cup of coffee and do some reading and daydreaming. By 6:30, I’m up and going. I play basketball Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays with a group of guys at a local gym at 7 am. (I played professional ball in Budapest in 1992.)

I try to keep my mornings clear of meetings, because it’s a very precious time for me to do my best thinking, my best work.

I start every day with no more than five things that drop-dead have to get done that day. No more than five. And I work through them one at a time.

I like to have lunch out…eating meals with friends or colleagues is a great way to get me off my butt (sitting = death!), catch up with a pal, and get inspired for the afternoon. Then, afternoons are usually meetings.

On weekends, I sleep in until 6 or so, and take a nap in the afternoon.

Note: that is my IDEAL typical day. There is a large deviation on any given day.

Do you have any particular habits or systems that you feel are essential to your success?

Yup! I’m a freak about systems and efficiency.

I use “Things” to track all of my To Dos for the day and forever.  No more than five MUST DO TASKS each day. These have to be the kind of things that I’m willing to work until midnight to get done.

Each week, I define what success looks like for that week, in 3-4 statements, and line up no more than 20 things I want to get done that week. The list of twenty things changes all week as priorities get juggled, but it keeps my head clear. (Both of those are hacks from the One Minute To Do List and Master Your Workday Now books.)

I use the “Weekly Review” from David Allen’s Getting Things Done process to get everything out of my head and onto paper. Anything that can be done in two minutes gets done.

People spend too much time making decisions on things that don’t really matter. So…I wear the same outfits over and over, so I don’t have to stand in my closet and decide each day, “What will I wear today?” (President Obama does the same thing; he doesn’t want to waste his decision making juju on dressing himself.  Steve Jobs also felt a uniform was more efficient than not having one…hence those endless black mock turtlenecks.)

I use Evernote as the external hard drive for every thing I think is cool or noteworthy. It stores files of every kind. It is like my second brain. I love that app.

We spend almost 61 hours each year looking for stuff!  To cut down on this, when I create a new To Do for myself in Things, I take into account all the things I’ll need to complete that, and make a note to myself of where those things are and other tips on how to complete the task successfully. Here’s an example. The To Do is: “Due May 8: Madison Magazine Article.” In the notes it says, “700 words due to Katie. Look in the “Drafts” folder on your hard drive and look for the file called, “Dairy Business Innovation Center.”

When I schedule a meeting, I include the followup time needed after the meeting. So I might schedule a 45 minute meeting with a client, and budget for an extra 15 minutes to process the meeting, get stuff into my To Do list, or complete items that will take less than two minutes.

Working out and being competitive (basketball year round and tennis in the summer) is KEY to me being balanced and happy. If I don’t have that outlet, I get a little nutty.

Are there any habits you’re working to develop next?

I’ve written two books, but I still don’t feel that I have a “writing habit.” So that’s next.

——

Rebecca Ryan founded Next Generation Consulting in 1998. As a market research firm committed to engaging the next generation, they study trends – demographic, environmental, economic, technology, political, social and lifestyle trends. Their claim to fame is helping cities and companies attract and keep next-gen workers by becoming places they love.

You can follow her second book project, ReGeneration: A Manifesto for America’s Next Leaders on Facebook. Or, you can connect with Rebecca on Twitter.

For the last few days, I’ve dreaded writing this. Not the writing part exactly, but the self assessment and accountability part.

Right now, it’s overwhelming to even think about the projects I’m juggling and what’s needed for each. The days are hard. I’m tired. Life happens, and I just want to crawl back under the covers and hide. Several times over the years, I have.

But this time feels different. I’m realizing that I didn’t pick this journey, but that it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be. And writing it down seems to be part of the voyage.

Perhaps there’s some part of this monthly report that will be meaningful to you, and perhaps continuing to put one foot in front of the other is exactly what I need to do too.

So here we go . . . one foot . . . two . . .

Project Overview

Here are my “buckets” of projects:

• Accounting/Corporate Leadership – this includes my role as the Director of Finance at Port Royal Ocean Resort and a few traditional accounting projects through the CPA firm I share with my husband.
• Non-profit Leadership – this primarily includes my responsibilities as President of Texas Business Women.
• Purpose Project – that’s this Habit Chef project and all of its related tentacles.
• Relationships – having a great relationship with God, my husband, my daughter, and my extended family and friends is very important to me, but doesn’t always come naturally, so I track progress in this area just like I would for any other project.
• Personal Habit Development – my own journey to living and giving my best.

At the beginning of each month, I set goals and action plans for making consistent progress in each of these areas. Weekly, I think about the bigger picture and review those plans, scheduling the projects on my calendar and in Remember the Milk (my task management app). Daily, I do my best to and complete my project tasks and personal daily goals (using the Lift app).

Bucket by bucket, here’s a recap of April’s results compared to its plans.

Personal Habit Development

In April, many of my personal habits fell apart. My automated food diary system has a hitch, but you can go here to see what I’ve been eating. Decidedly not paleo. I’ve also not been sleeping enough or planning my weeks nearly as well. I slipped into a reactive mode instead of being proactive about managing my days.

I did have one significant accomplishment in April. I quit drinking Monster Rehab. My last one was on April 8, but my cravings have been fierce lately. I haven’t succumbed yet, but I know I’ve got to bring my stress levels down to continue to stay away. There’s a part of me that still sees it as an elixir to soothe and empower me on difficult days, even though I know that’s probably my imagination.

My workouts are staying consistent with bootcamps three times a week, and 1-2 running workouts. These really seem to help in the mornings, and I feel these are one of the only defenses I have against stress. Going forward, this will be an area of increased focus.

For May, I want to write that I will commit to eating better, but that would be hollow. I’ve realized that I still see food as my solace, my reward, and often my entertainment. I’ll need to address that before I’m truly back on track. For now, I try to focus on one day at a time and one meal at a time. Dinner is the hardest because fatigue causes me to make poor decisions, so I’m going to start with setting aside time to plan those meals each week. I’ve added that as a recurring task in my Remember the Milk for Sundays.

Relationships

My goal for April was to recommit to the Storyline process. Ever since that Sunday in January, I knew that was the key to moving forward in my relationships, and I did make some progress. I decided on my primary roles and some of my ambitions, but then I’d get stuck when goals for one conflicted with another – or when I hadn’t really decided on a goal. Often, just thinking about relationships in this way was very taxing, so I started setting aside my early Saturday mornings to think it through and accept that it could take several weeks.

For May, my goals are to continue setting aside at least two hours each week to focus on this.

Accounting/Corporate Leadership

I expected April to be a transition month, where our past projects would be completed and we could focus on preparing for the summer season. That hasn’t happened. Our pool renovation (while unbelievably stunning) has taken longer than any of us ever expected and cost significantly more. As the person that wears the financial and marketing hats, those aren’t fun developments. As I reflect now, I realize that I’m simply tired. I thought we were closing in on the last miles of a marathon, only to realize that the course had been extended.

The good news is that we’ve learned to adapt yet again. We’ve found flexibility that we never would have discovered otherwise. We’ve learned where our systems are strong and where we need reinforcements. We’ve seen our team members step up and lead time and time again. Our trust in each other is as strong as ever. Assuming we’re able to find some time to rest in the coming weeks, we’ll finish up and hit our stride just in time.

Non-Profit Leadership

If I’m honest, this is another area that’s wearing me down. I’m President of an organization that’s the shell of what it once was, but hasn’t really acknowledged that in its systems and member expectations. To keep up, fewer and fewer of us must run faster and faster to keep the wheel spinning. We know that isn’t sustainable, but we haven’t yet figured out what is.

The planning meeting for our leadership team is coming up soon, and I’m awaiting it with a blend of enthusiasm and anxiety. On one hand, I think we’ve come to the decision point with the right people at the table, a solid process for evaluating our options, and a good dose of reality. On the other, I know that difficult conversations are just around the corner, and I struggle with understanding how much of my personal experiences and beliefs should be integrated in the planning process. No matter what the outcome, I know that the next two months will bring clarity, and I’m excited about that.

For now, my goals are to embrace the grind (and learn as much from it as possible) and the crossroads, realizing that they’re present in the lifecycle of every organization.

Purpose Project

With this project, February and March were my first months of consistency, and April was the first month that showed signs of growth (while keeping up the consistency).

The biggest surprise was when The Habit Chef Podcast made it into the New & Noteworthy section of iTunes for Health and Self-Help last Thursday.

The podcast averaged 13 listens a day in March and 20 for most of April, and then shot to nearly 400 for the days that it was featured. Currently, it’s averaging 100-200 listens each day, still significantly higher than before.

For this, I want to thank each of you. So far, 27 of you have graciously rated the podcast with 5 stars, and 17 have left written reviews. Without your support, this wouldn’t have been possible.

In addition to the 6 podcasts in April,  I shared habit profiles for Melissa Leon, Diana Schultz, Joel Runyon, and Charlie Gilkey, and two keystone articles: how to break a bad habit, and how to find the deviant – and then become one too.

The tribe grew from 7 members to 25 awesome people, and I received my first contribution in support of this project – $30.

My goal for May is to determine if the pay what you want approach is feasible or if I need to develop more specific products and services to make the project sustainable. If you think this project is valuable and have an opinion on that, I’d love to hear from you. You can share in the comments, email me at kk [at] habitchef [dot] com, or simply make a contribution yourself. No amount is insignificant (even $1) and would let me know this type of support exists.

Forward

In closing, I must say that the dread is always worse than the doing. While I avoided reviewing myself in each of these categories because I knew I had fallen short in many areas, I feel better after digging into the details and making specific plans for improvement. Perhaps that’s the lesson to be learned from all of this.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle

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Photo credit: byronpeebles